We are what we love.

Planning my escape from this vicious circle, whilst I try to understand how should I act against the enemies.
One is not necessarily emprisoned by feelings, but by not having them. And so, he’s in a state of utterly confusion and embarrassment. One is truly happy, because being detached of everything and everyone means happiness. But by the time he will sort that out, he will search for answers to questions that do not exist and places that are not there. By not having feelings of love for others, but just for yourself, you only are using others. Being conscious that others have strong feelings for you , only empowers you with ignorance; this power gives you everything you need in order to achieve your desires.
One can feel sorry for what it is, for thinking that he is unusual, mean etc and he can create himself a feel of pain that shouldn’t be there; pain that drags a person into the void of not understanding himself, nor the life itself. The pain has its role: to let you know that something you do, or you have done, it’s wrong. The people you hurt, talk, the places that you stick with, your desire for money, lust and so on. Everything is a sign for all of us. Pain isn’t real. Is the energy that is threatened, attacked; it feels like that because our meaning, our path is different; it’s a road that leads only to self-destruction, instead of following the path to self-growth. We are born to thrive, like a flower does, like a butterfly does. We, instead, are creating malice in this world, because we are not using our energy. We eat others energy, because one does not know how to protect itself from that, by being sleepy drowned in waters of forgetting the truth.

When you think you love someone, you only love yourself. That is because we recognize ourselves in certain people, in their actions, in their appearance. That’s why is said that we are what we love. Because what we love is us and we are love.

Sweaty nightmares.

So many dreams are disturbing me lately, and nothing good they foresee.
Imposant mountains that stood still in front of me and that ‘ey wanted me to see.
-I can’t watch thou, black mountain.
So I sailed away, scared captain.

-What about thou, weird road which thee thightens ?
-Do thou think your meaning frightenes ?
No answer seem to appear, the ignorance brings up the fears.
While just a horse appears to be near, I ride him wildly, ’till it dissapears.
And then, I see thee, the floating sadness, beating the shit out of me, with a whip.
I knew a tempest followed me, and I ran drowning in thine weep.
When i felt like dying, i woke up crying.

Ce.

A-nceput procesul de vindecare, chinuitor,
sau doar mi se pare ?
E chiar obositor..
Toţi mă-ntreabă ce s-a-ntâmplat cu mine,
că-i chiar bine,
sau doar că le e dor de mine.
Tot ce pot să spun e că nu ştiu.
Simt că ceva se-ntâmplă,
diurn, bizar şi nocturn.
Nu-nţeleg ce se petrece
şi timpul tot trece..
Nu ştiu cum să mă comport cu noul eu,
sunt prins într-un nou turneu..
Şi mă-ntreb: dac-o s-aştept, ce-am să primesc ?

Hoinar

Am fost mereu un suflet hoinar.
Multe lucruri mi-au lăsat, totuşi, un gust amar.
Deseori mă-ntrebai de ce, cum şi când.
Să-ţi fi răspuns n-aveam habar..
Am fost mereu un suflet hoinar.

Am încălecat pe poteci necunoscute, poate chiar pierdute.
Şi pot să spun c-acum mi-e puţintel teamă.
Poate că mi-e teamă că n-ai să mă mai bagi în seamă,
sau poate c-am să te pierd,
sau poate doar din cauza faptului că mă panichez atunci când nu ştiu ce să fac.
Ş-atunci, tac.
Şi prin scris mă descarc,
mă relaxez plimbându-mă prin parc,
în timp ce fumez pansiv şi lent.
Mă desfăt cu ritm de muzică violent,
în timp ce privesc oamenii, atent.
Mă relaxez cu tine, mă iubesc[ şi pe mine]
mai mult, atunci când eşti lângă mine.
Am trecut domol şi făr’ să-mi dau seama,
de la o extremă la alta.
Mă mir cum de-am reuşit.
Eu, cel de necontenit, de nepotolit..
Frumos sentiment este cel care s-a aşternut,
precum omătul, lin, fin.
Mi-e teamă şi să nu mă fi-ndrăgostit doar de iluzia de-a iubi,
de-a da şi de-a primi.
Vreau să rămâi, să stai, să vii, să nu pleci..
Doar ştii.
Înc-o sărutare-nainte de plecare.
Şi-ncă una, şi-ncă una.
În tine zace atâta candoare, ardoare.
De ce te plac atât de mult, de ce m-ai înebunit, oare ?

Eu, cel făr’ scăpare..

Thank you ?

Lost in the smoke, lost in the illusion

of your warmth, of your touch.

 

Parasites in my head, in my life, even in your bitter life.

They’re runnin’, they’re feedin’ w/ our filthy blood,

makin’ us to escape from our lost world,

eventhough they’re are also killin’ us..

 

After many failed tries,

finnaly, my sorrow dies.

 

Everything felt like emptiness

till I found you.

Green, misterious eyes,

that don’t seek lies.

I’m smiling eventhough they’re

giving me bad news,

‘couse I feel that this time

I won’t lose.

 

Weird sounds that usually creeped me out,

now they’re thrilling me, without a doubt !

 

Now’s no trace of the wild tempest,

and my soul’s kinda free to rest.

It may be weird that in a very short time

you brought me light.

 

But even my kiss had a taste of dirty lime,

feeling like the hell’s twilight.

 

I am new,

I am free to love you.

Vreau doar să fumez o ţigară

Fumez o ţigară.

Vreau doar să fumez o ţigară.

Şi-ncă una, şi-ncă una..

Toată lumea mă bate la cap,

mă stresează cu-ale ei prostii,

superficiale şi banale.

Să ştii !

Mă-nchid în capul meu,

pansiv căzând în uitare, în detaşare.

Mai am puţin ş-adorm, dar ei continuă să pălăvrăgească.

Eu vreau doar sa fumez liniştit,

o ţigară.

Mă bat la cap-ncontinuu,

nu-nţeleg ce-i aşa ambiguu ?

Mai trag un fum, vi-l suflu-n faţă,

poate v-otrăviţi.

Sunteţi nişte bandiţi.

Bă, iubiţi şi lăsaţi-mă să mai fumez o ţigarăă,

ascultaţi..eu ştiu, Luna amară.

Ştiu că-s într-o doară,

dar acum fumul se-nalţă şi coboară.

Nici cafeaua n-o pot bea, pentru că se răceşte,

la fel ca gura voastră.

Pachetul nou început acum e pe sfârşite,

la fel ca şi sufletele voastre adormite.

Înc-o ţigară ş-am să-mi scot căştile de impasibilitate din urechi,

că poa’ merită efortul de-a vă asculta.

Subiecte vechi, obositoare..

Gura nu vă doare ?

Vreau doar să fumez o ţigară.

Şi-ncă una, şi-ncă una..

Cicăleli, ţipete, strigăte mute,

priviri pierdute.

Hai, valea, du-te !

Pachetul e gol,

dar mai am puţintel alcool.

Dar vreau doar să fumez o ţigară.

 

Detaşare

Cufundat în liniştea zilei de azi , de mâine,

în liniştea zgomotului enervant,

caut cu gândul casant,

ale noastre dulci taine.

 

Te privesc atent.

Privesc cum razele soarelui te aseamănă

cu divinitatea, sora iernii, geamănă.

iar timpul se scurge lent.

 

Cuget şi mă-ntreb

de ce-n exaltare mă pierd.

Alerg prin mintea-mi şi te culeg,

căci doar cu tine vreau să mă dezmierd.

 

Buzele-ţi pline, fine şi suave,

mă sărută pasional şi inocent şi-n vis,

dar şi-n sufletu-mi în care dăinuie gerul închis,

unde găseşti doar murdare lentile concave..

 

Mă detaşez de tot ceea ce-nseamnă

lumea-nconjurătoare,

deoarece-n tine mă pierd, cu ardoare,

şi uit de tot ceea ce  mă doare.

You and I

Searchin’ you in every eye,

thinkin’ at you while drinkin’ wine,

dreamin’ at  you just for a while..

It’s just a matter of time

till I’ll find you.

I’m just askin’: how could you ?

I’m smellin’ you in everyone’s breath,

I’m into you in my own death.

I’m fuckin’ thinkin’ that him is you.

I just want you bliss,

but you are receiving just the devil’s kiss.

I’m kissin’ venomous lips,

losin’  myself in my own weeps.

Fallacin’ all night,

like you’re next to me,

like it’s all right.

Listenin’ music,

like you’re the song,

but you’re the right or the wrong ?

I’m smiling like you do and

I’m distorting like you do,

while I’m askin’ where’s my end.

I’m fakin’ like

some kind of monster, that lies inside

and always wanna push the button dislike.

I’m watchin’ over your head,

while you’re drowing, silently crying in your own bed.

I’m just laughin’ at you, the dead,

‘couse I’m always trapped in a dead end.

I’m hauntin’ you, the lonely,

and I’m lovin’ you, ‘couse you’re so lovely !

Might I ask if I could be your eyes,

to see your blue world,

to see how your infantility dies ?

Might I ask if I could tell your lies,

like they are mine ?

I’m exchangin’ thoughts,

w/ everyone,

in order to catch the one.

I’m captivating others w/ dull and lost

subjects, but mine’s frost.

I’m burnin’ in desire,

but I’m fightin’ between ice and fire.

I’m recognizin’ you in every man,

broken’ smile,

lust so strong like a fuckin’ missile.

Don’t get me wrong,

but you’re just hauntin’ me for so long.

I’m arguin’ w/ your demons,

the addictions,

tellin’ ’em to let you go;

and they’ll leave you, I can tell you so,

‘couse I’ve sent you a burnin’ angel.

In the end I’m shakin’ like hell,

and I’m still drinkin’, as well.

Searchin’ you in every eye,

thinkin’ at you while drinkin’ wine,

dreamin’ at  you just for a while..

 

But..

Who are you ?

Rope

Yes, I’m the devil, I’m like a vulcano, I’m the evil. I’m up when you cannot see, I’m what you cannnot be. I’m dark, I’m old, I’m chaos, I’m hold by the dusty time, unfaithful rhyme. I’m the one who should die in order to make you fine. I’m just the pain in the ass, in insane, I’m the only who like to blame and to hurt herself.

I’m the haunted one. Why do you still haunt me ? You’re not forgiven, nor forgotten. I’m obliged to see your suicide in my nightmares over and over again. Bloody rope. You thought there’s no fuckin’ hope..

[ You’re the only, and the only one that I truly miss. You wanted bliss, but you’ve huged the death’s kiss ]

I’m trying to fill the spaces w/ my own mistakes, while I gave up to give my best. I’m tired too, but I won’t be doin’ like you !

<strong>My Dying Bride – For my fallen angel</strong><br />  <object width=”448″ height=”33″><param name=”movie” value=”http://embed.trilulilu.ro/audio/Teonna/fa4f513b733e38.swf”></param><param name=”allowscriptaccess” value=”always”></param><param name=”flashvars” value=”username=Teonna&hash=fa4f513b733e38&miniMode=true”></param><embed src=”http://embed.trilulilu.ro/audio/Teonna/fa4f513b733e38.swf&#8221; type=”application/x-shockwave-flash” allowscriptaccess=”always” width=”448″ height=”33″ flashvars=”username=Teonna&hash=fa4f513b733e38&miniMode=true” ></embed></object>  <br /><a href=”http://www.trilulilu.ro/audio/diverse&#8221; title=”diverse”>  Asculta  mai multe  audio   diverse </a><br /><iframe src=”http://www.facebook.com/plugins/like.php?href=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.trilulilu.ro%2FTeonna%2Ffa4f513b733e38&amp;layout=standard&amp;show_faces=true&amp;width=448&amp;action=like&amp;colorscheme=light&amp;height=80&amp;ref=trlfbmbdlk&#8221; scrolling=”no” frameborder=”0″ style=”border:none; overflow:hidden; width:448px; height:80px;” allowTransparency=”true”></iframe><br />

Black rose

I’m lost, I’m wrong,

I’m pale, I’m a desolation song.

Where do I belong ?

Am I weak or am I strong ?

Keep wonderin’ what’s to do next,

while I’m listening Komprex.

Forgotten tales, weeping souls

and bloody tears in some muddy bowls.

I’ve lost your sweet smell..

Well, I’ll gonna search it in every man

’till I’ll gonna find it.

As well, I’ll catch you in my dreams

and I’ll take you in my own sunbeams.

I cannot detach of your stuff !

You’re everywhere, watchin’ me from above,

pullin’ me forward in order to solve

my neverending tenebrous nightmare from the grave.

Dirty impozant funeral stone,

which’s watching my hollowed bone,

is tellin’ tales, is trying to scream,

while my dark soul it’s lost in an illusory dream.

I’ve been there, I’ve done that,

fucked him, fucked that,

I’ve been hiding under an invisible, magical hat.

I’m fallin’ asleep,

remembering your foolish weep,

buried in my black roses  heap.